Sunday, November 14, 2010

Lazy and Sad

It has been a very lazy day. The day has drug on and I really can not wait until it is over, just a few more hours! The dark and gloomy days are no fun and just make you feel so blah. That is for sure how I feel...blah. Being an Army wife when you have a deployed husband who you haven't heard from in six days definitely doesn't help make matters better. I mean, yes I received an email saying he was ok and all that today but it was short and quick and not what I was hoping for AT ALL. So nap time came for Colton and my bed was calling my name as well. The nap helped a bit but when I woke I hoped it was days or even months later. I can't help but feel what some would call selfish. I mean I should be grateful my husband emailed and said he was alright but instead I am angry, not at him but at the job he does. I am proud and thankful for what he does but I also am counting the months until he is out of the Army for good. Should I act this way? Maybe not. Should I be so selfish? Maybe not. Should I be jealous of all the women that can see their s/o everyday? Maybe not. But this is who I am and can not change the way I feel. I have what I call semi-anger when I hear or see a couple fighting because my husband isn't here with me where he should be and this couple is arguing,when instead they should be thankful and grateful for each other if not then move on. Maybe this is wrong to feel because my husband is a volunteer and should know what he signed up for and me as well. I mean I said yes to the proposal and in all reality also said yes to the Army. But I fell in love with Josh and so what he does and who he is at this moment is an American soldier and for that I am blessed, but I will continue feeling how I feel; that can't be changed.
*Just a note, this is not a post to create controversy, I am just expressing how I feel and getting stuff off my chest so please don't take offense to any of this. Thank you*


Post a Comment

Leave some love!